Hair clippers

Why We Chose It

The Remington Retro Hair Trimmer is like a DeLorean for your hair. It's got that vintage charm with modern reliability. Stainless steel blades slice through hair like a hot knife through butter, but with less mess. It's refillable, like a fountain pen, but for haircuts. Chrome accents may not make you faster, but they sure make you look cooler. With professional cutting speed, it's like a Ferrari for your follicles. Who needs battery anxiety when you have a 60-minute run time? Sure, it takes 4 hours to charge, but that's why Netflix was invented. It's got more attachment combs than you'd find in a barbershop. If you can handle the corded life, it's ready to give you the haircut of your dreams—or at least one your mom will approve of.

What It Does

• Cuts hair like a razor-sharp samurai sword.
• Chrome accents make it look cooler than your dad's car.
• More combs than a beauty pageant.
• Lasts 60 minutes, or just enough to watch an episode of 'Stranger Things'.

What It Doesn't Do

• Won't speed up your morning routine.
• Won't charge faster than your smartphone.
• Won't double as a hedge trimmer.
• Won't save your bad hair day selfies.

Tech Specs

• Stainless steel blades, not made from your grandma's cutlery.
• Runs at 300 mm/s, faster than a snail but slower than Flash.
• Eleven combs, because ten just isn't enough.
• Corded and lithium powered, because it can't decide.

Who It's For

Introducing the Retro Enthusiast, who collects vintage vinyl and now trims with chrome accents. They appreciate a throwback but expect modern function. There's the Practical Pragmatist, who just wants a decent haircut without oily fingers. They see the refillable feature as a bonus, not a necessity. Lastly, the Reluctant Groomer, who shaves twice a year and reluctantly embraces technology. For them, the trimmer’s professional speed is more intimidating than appealing. Yet, they can't resist the allure of stainless steel. Each profile finds the retro styling either charming or hilariously outdated. But hey, it's not just a trimmer; it's a conversation starter.