Espresso machine with grinder

Why We Chose It

Meet the Breville Barista Express, where making coffee costs as much as a small car. It's the top choice in the 'I-have-more-money-than-sense' category. With its 15-bar Italian pump and 1600W Thermocoil heating system, it brews espresso with the flair of a caffeinated opera singer. But hey, at least it looks fancy in sesame black, which apparently justifies a price tag that could fund a vacation. It's programmable, because who has time to remember things? Its conical burr grinder gives you the thrill of grinding without the mess of a coffee crime scene. For those who can't decide between espresso and a mortgage payment, this machine's your muse.

What It Does

• Brews espresso with the drama of Italian opera.
• Grinds beans like a caffeinated squirrel.
• Heats water faster than your patience runs out.
• Makes your kitchen look like a coffee shop.

What It Doesn't Do

• It won't fit in your budget.
• Doesn't include a barista.
• Not a substitute for therapy.
• Won't make you a coffee snob overnight.

Tech Specs

• 15-bar Italian pump for espresso drama.
• 1600W Thermocoil heating: hot and ready.
• Conical burr grinder: bean whisperer.
• 2L removable water tank for lazy refills.

Who It's For

Perfect for those who think owning a coffee shop is overrated, so they decide to bring one home instead. Ideal for the person who believes their kitchen should resemble an art exhibit of expensive gadgets. Also great for anyone who considers themselves a barista trapped in a stockbroker's body, yearning to froth milk with the precision of a surgical scalpel. If your life goal is to have a machine that intimidates guests and makes the local café barista question their existence, this is your calling.